so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
