real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize