In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
