Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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