I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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