OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
