Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
