So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
don't judge my taste in strippers
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
