Are we in a gay sports bar?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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