I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just invented taco cereal.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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