Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Randomize