It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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