I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
