dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
