i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
