It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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