all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
