I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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