I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
