thus making me awesome and them whores
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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