SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
and she was petting her beer can
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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