Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize