I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
