i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
