Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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