i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
