Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
