I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
