so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i dont even know how to be here
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
