You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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