I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
