ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
