Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
