Swine flu. Run for my life!
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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