She just used a chaser for red wine.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
