That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
