Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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