I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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