im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
