I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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