ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
