As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
