where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Barsexuality is the new black.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
