i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
