Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I could fuck to npr.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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