So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think I sprained my soul last night
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
