in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
