My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
