Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
ok first of all what the fuck
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize