To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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