Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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