sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
