She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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