8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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