Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
