So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The beer is more important than you right now.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
