just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
