I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
where am i from again
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
