You're so nebulous sometimes
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
