Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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