i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I can't turn off my feet"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
